Reporter: Tara Brown
Producer: Kirsty Thomson, Sandra Cleary
There's nothing more exciting. News a baby's on the way. All the plans, hopes and dreams of parenthood.
But for thousands of Australian couples those great expectations are tragically dashed — something goes wrong and the pregnancy fails.
The pain and grief are far more common than you might think - a staggering one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage.
And for some, it's a private tragedy that happens over and over again. Why? Well, that's one of medicine's great mysteries.
But finally, scientists are hopeful they have found a way to end the heartbreak.
Story contacts:
Visit the website of the Bonnie Babes Foundation www.bbf.org.au or email enquiry@bbf.org.au
The toll fee number is 1300 266 643.
Bonnie Babes haved published a book called Small Miracles: Coping with a difficult pregnancy, premature baby or the loss of your baby. It is on sale now.
You can also visit Lisa and Jeff Body's website:
www.close2baby.com
Gavin Sachs is from IVF Australia www.ivf.com.au
Full transcript:
STORY -
TARA BROWN: The very first fragile moments of life. Feet, hands, a tiny heartbeat. He's only 12 weeks but already he carries huge expectations - all the dreams of an expecting couple. How much do you want to have a baby?
JULIE BROOKS: Oh, more than anything, more than anything. I want to be a mother. I want to be a mother. It's definitely been quite overwhelming.
TARA BROWN: But sadly, one in four pregnancies fails. And in an instant - all those hopes and dreams are gone.
JULIE BROOKS: The fantasy or the innocence of pregnancy has been ripped away. We just thought it was something that we'd progress onwards from our beautiful wedding and, yeah, that was kind of shattered.
TARA BROWN: Up until four weeks ago, Julie and Ritchie Brooks thought they were going to be parents until an ultrasound revealed the sad truth.
RITCHIE BROOKS: We just turned up to that thinking "Oh well, get to see our baby again, everything will be good." Um, there was no problem. And then at the clinic we could see the baby, it had grown to full size to the day but there was no heartbeat anymore.
JULIE BROOKS: And I was lying on the table out of the view of the screen and I felt this suspension of time where I looked at Ritchie and I looked at the obstetrician and I thought, "Why is it, why are they not speaking?"
TARA BROWN: What did you think was going on?
JULIE BROOKS: I think I was very numb, but I had this strong sense inside that something was terribly wrong and I couldn't say any words I just didn't have the words to come out of my mouth and I just fell apart.
TARA BROWN: It was a terrible blow to this newly married couple. This was the second time Julie had miscarried. For the last two years she's lived with grief and the fear she'll never be a mum.
JULIE BROOKS: You just see people with their children or, you know, mothers walking around glowing in different stages of their pregnancy so it becomes a constant reminder that you've missed out.
PROFESSOR MICHAEL BENNETT: It's a fundamental that women take quite reasonably as a given "I am a girl, I should therefore be able to have babies." And when they can't, when they lose a baby which is what having a miscarriage is they grieve and they grieve very deeply and very seriously.
TARA BROWN: Obstetrician Professor Michael Bennett has seen a lot of grief in his 40 years of practice. And with the grief comes guilt. So many women unnecessarily blame themselves because they don't know why miscarriage happens. In a third of cases there are no clear answers. For the rest it's considered nature's way - a chromosomal problem with the embryo. And with more couples waiting to start a family those numbers are on the rise.
PROFESSOR MICHAEL BENNETT: It's pushing them up, there's no question about that. I think we need to recognise that women are deferring having babies. It's much later in their 30s that they're starting to think about getting pregnant, and in a sense, many of them don't have time to go away and lose three pregnancies.
TARA BROWN: Melissa Dominguez is 39 years old. She's already had three miscarriages but is now expecting a baby. What stage of pregnancy are you at now?
MELISSA DOMINGUEZ: 16 weeks, so...
TARA BROWN: And you're still not telling people?
MELISSA DOMINGUEZ: Ah, no, no, I will though.
TARA BROWN: Guess what? You've just told them.
MELISSA DOMINGUEZ: Yes.
TARA BROWN: Melissa's apprehension is understandable. She feels like she's running out of time. This could be her last chance at motherhood. Does any part of you regret not trying sooner?
MELISSA DOMINGUEZ: Yep. You've got 39-year-old eggs, that's the reality of it. It doesn't matter how much you train or drink juice or take vitamins or sleep well, that's how old your eggs are, however old you are, that's it. So, it does become harder - people don't realise that. I didn't, I used to read it and go, "Oh, I'll be fine", you know, because I stayed so healthy in every other aspect but it obviously, you know, wasn't the case.
TARA BROWN: Certainly Julie and Ritchie Brooks have led a healthy and adventure-filled life but now as an older couple they're desperate for kids.
JULIE BROOKS: I've definitely had moments because of this journey where I've thought, "Why didn't we start sooner?" I think it's completely natural to go down that road but at the same time, I look at the person I was then and now and I think I'm more equipped to be a mother now, so...
TARA BROWN: Our biology is mean, isn't it?
JULIE BROOKS: It is, it is really. I'm not going to let this beat me. I'm not going to not realise this dream.
RITCHIE BROOKS: We're definitely not ready to give up. The clock's ticking, we're both 41 years old so we're determined people and we want to keep going and we're down but we're not out, you know.
TARA BROWN: But starting young doesn't always protect couples from miscarriage.
LISA BODY: I think when we were getting married it wasn't our big priority to have children but it was definitely, definitely in the future.
TARA BROWN: A year after getting married, and both in their 20s, Lisa and Geoff Body were expecting their first baby. It was the start of a decade of unbelievable heartache. How many miscarriages have you had?
LISA BODY: Ah, 20.
TARA BROWN: And emotionally, how did you cope?
LISA BODY: Well, there was lots of tears.
GEOFF BODY: I think we're a pretty good support for each other. When we used to go to have the ultrasound they'd get all excited and say, "Oh, there's a heartbeat, there's a heartbeat." And we'd sort of be saying, "Oh, yeah. OK." Because, you know, you'd go back the next week and there wouldn't be one.
TARA BROWN: 20 miscarriages. It's hard to imagine anyone going through that much torment. And for many years Geoff and Lisa confounded the medical profession. What did you think was going on? After each loss could anybody give you any reason for what was happening?
LISA BODY: We had a lot that said, you know, I can't give you an answer and we always said, "We're not here for an answer we're just here for some hope."
TARA BROWN: Many mysteries remain, but Dr Gavin Sachs has made a breakthrough that's helping couples like Lisa and Geoff who have multiple miscarriages. He's leading Australian research into the role of the immune system in miscarriage. We all have what are called natural killer cells - they're the cells that protect us from disease. In pregnant women they're automatically suppressed to protect the unborn baby. But in some women who repeatedly miscarry the natural killer cells haven't been turned off. So they see this potential baby as an invader?
DR GAVIN SACHS: As a threat. So there is a conflict, really, between the mother's body having to defend herself and the baby having to establish itself. And that has to reach the right balance for a pregnancy to succeed.
TARA BROWN: They're early days and Dr Sachs is pushing for a proper trial but so far, he says, 40 babies have been born in Sydney after their mothers were given a simple steroid treatment.
DR GAVIN SACHS: We're seeing people who've had 5, 6, 10, 19 successive miscarriages. I mean what a burden on their lives. I think it's hard for some people who aren't aware of that to appreciate just how their lives would be just completely consumed by this. And, you know, it's our duty to try to find answers for those people.
TARA BROWN: Do you believe this is a real hope?
DR GAVIN SACHS: I think this is a real hope because it's based on real science and we're trying to build it step by step. So, it's not real yet, but it is real hope.
TARA BROWN: His greatest success - helping Lisa and Geoff Body, who endured 20 miscarriages, finally complete their family. It took nine attempts to have their first daughter, Erin. After another 10 miscarriages, they finally met Dr Sachs and nine months after his treatment baby Tessa was born. At what stage of your pregnancy with your two daughters did you say, "OK, I'm pregnant, OK, I'm going to have a baby?"
LISA BODY: When they were in our arms. After the labour, after the birth.
GEOFF BODY: Nothing was certain, was it, until they were there and in your arms and that's probably the most pleasing, rewarding, grateful and magnificent moment.
TARA BROWN: These families and are proof there is hope after miscarriage and have gathered together to urge other couples never to give up. Taking part in a photo shoot to raise money for 'Bonnie Babes' - a charity that helps couples through their grief.
WOMAN 1: I guess you just have to have faith that there's light at the end of the tunnel and that, you know, eventually you are going to be able to have children.
WOMAN 2: I think that, you know, you just have to keep trying and realise that, you know it does happen, it does happen, and this is proof that miracles do happen.
TARA BROWN: After three miscarriages Melissa Dominguez still believes in miracles. She'd hoped she would have a couple of kids by now. But she and her husband Andre would be happy with just one, this one.
PROFESSOR MICHAEL BENNETT: At 16 weeks, this baby is probably close to 200 grams.
TARA BROWN: Already, it's picture perfect but they won't let themselves get excited yet.
PROFESSOR MICHAEL BENNETT: Big feet! Who's got big feet?
MELISSA DOMINGUEZ: Not me.
TARA BROWN: The next five months are going to be a long, anxious wait.
MELISSA DOMINGUEZ: Even now, I know something can go wrong. You hear about terrible things happening to people all the time. All the way through the pregnancy, right up until like 36, 37 weeks, you just don't know what you're going to be dealt with. So I just have to pray and keep my fingers crossed for the future.
TARA BROWN: I think you'll be a great mum.
MELISSA DOMINGUEZ: Thank you.
